Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops