Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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womans having rights.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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