Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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