5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

What is green and is not grass A frogg

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

My spelling is horrible

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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