What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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This Irishman walked into a pub and then drank hard liquor for the next 3 hours.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Golf.

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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