Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops