"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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