What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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i saw amango it splootered

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops