A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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