What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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woman's rights

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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