What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Communism hehe xd

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Rylan Clark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops