Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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