What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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star wars kid

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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