Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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