While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why was the black guy convicted of a crime he didnt commit? Because in The American social syste

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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