What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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i have two hands.

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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A dog was barking at a tree

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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