Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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