- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops