Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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