How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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