A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

What did the man with no head get for Christmas? Nothing he was dead

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

why did the blue berry cross the road

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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