A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops