Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops