What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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