Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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