Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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A black man walks out of a police station

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I am quite mature.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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knock knock... ...no answer

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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