A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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