Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Hail Hitler

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Urban ghettos

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Screw it you write the joke.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops