Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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The american education system.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Chuck Norris.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops