What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops