Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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