Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops