wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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