- Anti Joke

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

Your mama's so stupid that i wouldn't be surprised if you were to tell me that she didn't graduate high school.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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