Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops