What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Andoni was here

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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