Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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What do you call a 2 storied house ?

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops