If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

Who does creatine? James Cornish

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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