How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

kkkk

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

What did the man say to the other man? Hi

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

What are annoying? Ads.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...