Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops