What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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