How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

i dont fisish anythi

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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