Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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. . I am a whale

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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