A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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I like poop in my butt

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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