Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Black people deserve to be slaves for their entire lives. WHITE POWER.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops