What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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