An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Your'e probably not going to laugh at this joke, it wasn't made to be funny

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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