“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a horse walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -5

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops