'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops