Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops