Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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how much fish could a chicken

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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What did the mentally retarded man say to the Waiter who brought him his soup? Thanks for bringing me my soup.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops