What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

thumb_up thumb_down -9

rent a cops

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yesterday, I was assasinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops