A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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