Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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