what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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