How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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My cat just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops