How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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p

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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