A bar walks into a man

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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