I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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