Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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where's mom I killed her

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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read this sentence again.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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