A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock It's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops