I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOL Passed Out Photos Roulette Reactions Search Engine Suggestions Shit Brix What The Face Check out our iPhone app! Twitter Rss Popular Newest Random Write Your Own! . Anti Joke logo . Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleSwitch to visual puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Wtface-com-857e5e What The Face Adfailure-com-48cdc7 Ad Failure Im_disappoint I AM DISAPPOINT A-day-at-the-mall-94246 Shit Brix Stallbangs-doesn-t-enjoy-hanging-out-with-barry-387fac Scumbag Steve 1222625996122_129 DIY Fail Quotes From Other Sites “Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot..” via: Clarksonisms “earphones for the deaf ?.” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Do you honestly think you're fucking funny, fucking with my friends? Seriously, you're a fucking ugly little cunt mate, and if I ever see you....” via: ethugtxt .. available on the app store! Anti-Pickup Line Clarksonisms Pointless Inventions Pointless Super Powers Things You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats red and hard to eat a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops