Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

No antijoke here.

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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