What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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