Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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