a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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