George W. Bush

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Penis chickens

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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