What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Hello

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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