What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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A Chinese, American, and German were all on the a boat sinking off the Border of the U.S. So the American called the U.S Coast Guard and they were rescued and taken to a nearby hospital. Two of the three members are still alive today and haunted by the memory of that day.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops