A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops